Islam allows a Muslim man to marry and have four wives at once. This was created as a means of helping the women. For example, a woman’s husband dies and she loses her source of income and is unable to care for her children. In this case, a man who already has a wife can marry her with the intention of helping her out by making her a part of his family and providing her with all the necessities she’ll need. This is just one out of thousands of situations that would make their matrimony acceptable.
However, from what I’ve seen this concept has been greatly misintreperted and misused by the men nowadays. This is my thoughts on this subject matter and it is based on my observation of the Muslim community in Malaysia.
From what I can see, the men nowadays are taking new wives simply because they’d like a ‘pretty, young thang’; fifty year old men taking girls just out of high school? Seriously? This is just disgusting. The girls, of course, agree because all they see is the new house, new car and the ka-ching.
I’ve read that before a man can take on a second wife, he first has to talk with his current wife and declare his intentions to her, but then why are there so many cases of men who elope with their jail-bait in Thailand? There are cases where the first wife knows nothing of her ‘successor’ until the husband dies and suddenly No. 2 comes along looking for her slice of the man’s inheritance.
A recent article on BBC World News said that the men who had multiple wives lead miserable lives because they can’t afford the upkeep of two households. Well, duhh! If you make a measly pay of RM3000, how can you even think of marrying another women? It’s haram for you to wed if you are in no way able to support her. Just think, that means having to fulfil the needs of two women, four/five/nine children. You sure, you can handle that?
There are some men who say it’s ‘sunnah’ or ‘Islamic’ to take on multiple wives because the Prophet(PBUH) also did the same. Well, if you want to use that as your excuse then you should wait till your current wife passes away, because that’s exactly what Muhammad(PBUH) did.
There are also some who say they do it to avoid ‘maksiat’. What I have to say to this crap is, you seriously have such a problem keeping your pants on? Are you that controlled by your carnal thoughts? As humans, as Allah’s greatest creation, are you unable to use the mind gifted to you to control such animalistic behaviour?
Furthermore, what are the men doing looking at other women? Your duties as a husband is to love, care and cherish your wife. She is your other half, and most times, your better half. If you say you married her because you love her then why are you flirting and ‘hunting’ new meat? Be the best husband that you can possibly be for that is "wajib" upon you.
To the new wives I say, how can you be secure in the thought of him as your husband when while flirting and courting you, he was already married and therefore was cheating on his wife? How can you be sure that he won’t do it again, this time with a younger, prettier version of you? Are you willing to live with that type of insecurity hanging above your head like a dark cloud?
I pity the children that are involved in these situations. Most of these families are unstable and arguments are common. The children never asked to be a part of a messed-up family, they don’t deserve to not know who their father is because they rarely see him, they don’t deserve to be treated with less love because they’re the children of Wife No. 2, they shouldn’t have to suffer from hunger and second-hand clothes because mummy’s no getting enough money from daddy.
I have friends who have fathers that practice polygamy and they’re happy and the family isn’t dysfunctional, but they are like the Bengal tiger; nearly extinct.
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